Project:
So far, I'm doing well on this project. My initial stack of two squares has expanded to four, I have a fifth one nearly done and, over all, I'm excited. It may be silly to be excited about this small progress but I have nearly five out of twelve squares that I need in Goldfish done. Soon, I'll be able to move on to another color! The next color will probably be White Angel. I need forty of them so I'll probably do about fifteen or twenty to start with and then switch colors again. One thing that I've learned while working on other knitting projects is that it's easy to get burnt out on a color if you try to tackle too much at once.
Reflection:
Lately I've been working on letting go of my fear of what others will think when I tell them that we're having a baby. My love and I are happy about the babe and I have to give others the opportunity to be happy with us. The fact is that I'm twenty-eight weeks pregnant and this babe will be born in just a few short months. For the past few weeks, I've been working on telling all the people that I work with and those that I see on a regular basis on campus. It's hard sometimes to find the right words for each person, especially since I'm never sure whether their reaction will be positive or negative. The reactions so far have all been the same - shock and disbelief, followed by the are-you-kidding, followed by a growing excitement, and ending with a demand for me to show them the change in my silhouette.
When women who have had children find out, the first thing out of their mouth is "You're carrying it well." I find this funny because my internal response is 'How else am I supposed to be carrying it?' This observation is usually followed by a moment of disbelief, with a piece of advice hot on its heels - "Six months? You need to put on some more weight!" I've only gained about fourteen pounds so far and apparently this is a crime. One woman, after finding this out, went so far as to say "You need to put on at least forty pounds with the first baby, then less with the second one." A woman standing beside her merely nodded at this sage advice. The whole conversation tickled me.
What's even funnier is when mind find out. They usually nod appreciatively, then ask "Is it a boy or a girl" and "How are you feeling?" I think it's because they feel that for the most part anything beyond the basics is none of their business. Truthfully, I prefer their stoic approach to that of their female counterparts. Women tend to ask at least a dozen questions and then they tend to, good-naturedly, over share their experiences and opinions on everything. One thing that both sexes seem to share is the desire to touch the swell of my stomach - either with a quick rub, a pat-pat, a simple press, or an awkward hold. For the record, I sincerely doubt that there is a pregnant woman alive who appreciates having her space violated to be touched there unless it's by her partner. It makes me very uncomfortable.
Over all, this experience has taught me that people tend to be very open when it comes to bringing a new life into this world. They're willing to share with you their experiences (if they have any) or point you toward a source they think may be of assistance. So far everyone we've told has been incredible. The level of support and selflessness of others has been surprising and humbling. I still find it astonishing how the news immediately creates a sense of community. I've also learned that I shouldn't let my fears control my actions or rule over my happiness. I should open myself up to the joys that life is offering me and allow others to share in that joy with me. As Bernard Baruch once stated, "Those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter."
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